FAITH
FAITH (after an idea by Nesciri)
Buck frantically sat up in bed, the blankets spilling
around his shoulders. He fought against the hand that pushed him back, every
muscle tense ready for a fight. This was not the soft comforting hand of before.
This was not Song Bird. This hand was strong and unrelenting.
"Running Buck, stay down," a voice commanded.
Buck relaxed then. He knew it was Red Bear.
"Where is Yellow Crane?" Buck managed
to choke out. His throat was dry and his head hurt. He reached up to feel a
cloth wrapped around his head. He swallowed hard when he remembered Yellow Crane's
taunts about how men always got to do the scalping.
"She's dead, brother," Red Bear said firmly.
It took a minute for Buck to remember. He rubbed a heavy hand across his face
trying to will the image of Yellow Crane's face in death out of his mind. It
took a few minutes more for Buck to realize that Red Bear had not called him
"little brother" or "Little Buck" as he always did. He wanted
to ask why but his thoughts quickly turned to his friends. He realized he was
in the little side room off the main bunkhouse.
"Where's Ike? Where is everyone? Are they alive?"
He thought as long as he could keep asking questions, he wouldn't have to hear
that he had failed to protect his friends.
"They are well, brother. We rode up and found
you and your friends. The Man of Dreams has tended to them. I believe Cody is
already up and eating again. The others are resting, as you should be."
Buck smiled despite his heavy heart. Red Bear may have stopped calling him by
his childhood name, but he was still the same bossy older brother at heart.
Buck smiled even more when he realized that he wouldn't have it any other way.
Buck obediently lay back down and let his eyes close. He suddenly remembered
Song Bird.
"Red Bear, I saw her," Buck began. He
didn't know how to start. He shook his head a little against the pillows.
"I know, you killed her," Red Bear said
with a rather condescending tone. "It's over now. My braves are taking
care of her body so she will not do any more harm, not even in the spirit world."
"No, not Yellow Crane," Buck said raising
his voice. He had to fight to keep from interrupting Red Bear. He had been taught
never to interrupt his brother and so as soon as he could break in, he took
the opportunity. "I felt her, I heard her voice," he emphasized the
last word before he whispered, "Song Bird." Red Bear immediately looked
up and snaked his hand out toward Buck. He grabbed hold of his brother's arm
just as he had done so many years before when he was scolding him for daring
to enter the burial ground. He squeezed hard and Buck tried to twist out of
his grip. It was as if they were reliving the past.
"Don't you dare to speak of Song Bird. Her
spirit is at peace and does not walk the earth," Red Bear growled, lowering
his voice. Buck inwardly cringed. He hated it when Red Bear scolded him as if
he were a child. He hated it even more when Red Bear closed his ears to what
Buck was telling him. He had often done that when Buck still lived with the
Kiowa and he was trying to do it now. Red Bear's unwillingness to really listen
had cost Buck so much over the years and it was not a price he was willing to
pay now. So, now he did something that the young boy would not have dared to
do. He gathered his courage around him and used his free hand to pull Red Bear's
hand away from him. Red Bear did not easily relinquish his hold and so Buck
was forced to pry his brother's fingers off his arm. When Red Bear finally released
Buck, he stood up in disgust, taking a few steps away from the bed. He whirled
around only to point an accusatory finger at his younger brother. "If you
saw her, it was a dream. Nothing more. You will not speak of her again."
Buck sat himself up as straight as he could. He felt at a disadvantage because
he was in bed and Red Bear was standing over him but this time he was not going
to be bullied. This time he was going to say what he knew was the truth.
"I do not live with the Kiowa anymore, brother.
You cannot tell me what I can or cannot say." Red Bear was shocked into
silence by the sudden brazenness of his brother. No one had ever spoken to him
that way. The blood tie that the two brothers shared kept Red Bear from attacking
Buck. If Buck were one of his warriors, he would be dead by now. Before Red
Bear could respond, Buck continued, "I saw Song Bird. She helped me. She
put her hand on my back and told me to fight. If it wasn't for her, I would
be dead."
"If Song Bird were to leave the spirit world,
it would not be to see you," Red Bear said, the coldness of his voice matching
the look on his face.
"Why is that, brother?" Buck shot back. "Is it because she would visit her husband before her brother-in-law or is it because she would not come to someone who was not born a true Kiowa?" Buck's eyes narrowed with the accusation. "Are you declaring that you know what the spirits are thinking, even Song Bird? Isn't that going against our religion?" Buck had a hard time keeping the triumph out of his voice. He had managed to corner Red Bear for the first time in his life and he relished the moment. Red Bear was visibly enraged.
He hands were clenched in tights fists at his side
and his dark eyes snapped fire.
"You arrogant, little boy," Red Bear sneered.
"Are you the teacher now? Do you dare to tell me what is right?"
"I know what I felt," Buck declared not
backing down. "I know Song Bird put her hand on me. Yellow Crane may have
called the spirits to help her but Song Bird came to help me." Buck paused
breathing heavily. He was starting to wear down. "She came to help me,"
he repeated, suddenly feeling tears well up. He did not want them now. He needed
to stay strong in front of his brother if he was going to win this battle. "I
may not have been born from a Kiowa father but I proved myself. I belong to
the tribe too, and I deserve protection from the spirits as much as you. I was
also raised Kiowa. I learned just as you did about the spirit world. You taught
me what I know, and I know Song Bird was here."
Red Bear watched his brother. Buck was struggling
not to break down. He was not sure how what should be a celebration turned so
serious. His brother had barely escaped with his life. When he and his friends
had been found, they were all but dead. Red Bear tore his eyes from Buck and
looked out the window where he could see his braves preparing to take Yellow
Crane. Her body was tightly wrapped in a plain buffalo hide. She would be buried
so her spirit would be trapped. Red Bear was not exactly sure what power she
had held. He knew she manipulated the spirits for her own greed and desire for
revenge. He also knew that she used poisons and other treachery to make her
position stronger. He suddenly realized he did not know the truth. Only Yellow
Crane and the spirits did. Maybe Running Buck did as well. So, he did something
that was foreign to him. He let his anger go. If Buck said that Song Bird had
come to him, then he was willing to believe that she had. He sighed and made
his way back to the bed.
"Tell me about Song Bird," he asked his
brother. "I want to know what she said." Buck looked sharply at Red
Bear. He expected to see disbelief and scorn in his older brother's eyes but
only saw the soft dark eyes he knew so well.
"She called me by name. She told me to get
up and fight," Buck said reliving the memory. "She put her hand on
my back and I could feel her with me the whole time. She left after Yellow Crane
was dead."
"Did she say anything else?" Red Bear's voice was hopeful. Buck knew that Red Bear was hoping that Song Bird would have said something about her husband. Even though he wished he could do different, Buck was forced to shake his head. Red Bear abruptly turned away and stared out the window. When he finally turned back, he was smiling somewhat wistfully. "It will be fine, Running Buck. When I see her again, she will tell me all I need to know."
