FAITH
FAITH (after an idea by Nesciri)
Kiowa Territory, 1853
"Running Buck, this is a serious matter and
we must talk." Red Bear walked into their teepee and quickly closed the
hide that covered the opening, which caused the daylight to be dimmed. Buck
cringed at Red Bear's stern tone. Buck came and sat with his brother on Red
Bear's bedding. Buck, knowing his brother was displeased, sat with his head
down and let his fingers play with the fringe on his boot. He was concentrating
on arranging the fringe so it hung straight to avoid his brother's steely gaze.
That stopped when Red Bear grabbed his wrist and held it in his strong grip.
"Running Buck, I know where you were last night." Buck sat silently
and swallowed hard. It wasn't his place to speak until Red Bear gave him permission
to do so.
"What were you doing there? White Owl came
to me this morning and said he found you preparing to enter our burial grounds.
Didn't you think I would find out?"
"It was a dare. Fighting Horse said I wouldn't
and I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't afraid." Buck whispered the
words and there was more than a little fear in his voice. He wanted to wiggle
out of Red Bear's strong hold that was becoming painful but knew that would
anger his brother more.
"You have soiled a sacred place with your stupidity.
Our dead are not tools to be used for sport. If your false pride requires nourishment,
it will not be fed by such disrespectful acts." Red Bear lowered his voice
into a threatening growl, "The spirits will find a way to punish you. And
I must also." Buck was truly fearful now of his brother. Red Bear had never
sounded so angry. Red Bear leaned close to his brother and looked him straight
in the eyes.
"You little brother, are going to spend three
nights away from the tribe. Perhaps you will learn that without the protection
of your people, the spirits are what protect and guide you. Perhaps then you
will learn not to offend them."
Buck tried to pull away but Red Bear did not let
him go. He only squeezed harder and gave his arm a rough twist. Buck stammered
and tried to explain to Red Bear, "I didn't want everyone to think I was
scared. They tease me."
"No excuses. If you had actually entered those grounds, the punishment would be much worse. Now, prepare to leave." Red Bear finally relinquished his hold on Buck's wrist. When Buck looked down at his forearm he saw the imprint of Red Bear's fingers linger for a minute before they disappeared.
When Buck left the tribe that day, he felt the eyes of everyone in the village on him. Humiliation and guilt coursed through his body. He wanted to disappear and never come back. He glanced up and briefly met Red Bear's eyes. He saw remorse there but also determination that Buck should learn a serious lesson. He also saw something strange. He saw Yellow Crane and White Owl standing close behind Red Bear. Both had a look of smug triumph on their faces and Yellow Crane seemed to be mouthing the words of some chant only she knew the meaning of.
Three days later, Buck walked slowly into the village
and went straight to his brother's teepee. He stepped in and immediately dropped
onto his bed. He wanted to cry from the humiliation he was feeling but also
from the relief that he was back. He had found fear and loneliness to be extremely
unpleasant companions. He hadn't slept in three nights, his brother's words
had kept echoing in his head until his body shook with fear. He didn't want
the spirits to punish him yet he knew he deserved it. He had managed to come
back alive and unharmed but he thought one day he would have to pay for his
grievous sin. His thoughts were broken when Red Bear entered the teepee.
"Little brother, you are back." Buck only
nodded his head in reply and kept his face hidden from Red Bear. "You have
made atonement with the spirits. You have learned not to take spiritual matters
lightly. No one understands every trial that one must endure in life, but if
you do no harm than none will come to you. Running Buck, remember that in living
your life, you must never cause needless suffering and you must also do your
best to ease the suffering of others. The spirits help us do this. If you offend
them, you put yourself and everyone around you in danger of eternal pain."
Red Bear kneeled down next to his brother and placed a hand on his back. "You
have also made atonement with me. We will discuss this no more." Buck sat
up and wiped his tears away with the back of his hand not caring whether Red
Bear saw them or not.
Red Bear drew Buck close to him and was satisfied that his brother had learned not to dishonor the spirits that protected them all.
