WHEN
YOU SEE MEWHEN
YOU SEE MEby Nesciri
CHAPTER 6
Lou was ready to go, she was just waiting for Ben to appear at the horizon. She smiled at shook her head at Jimmy and Cody's jokes from the porch of the bunkhouse. She knew that the bantering were just to hide that they were worried. It wasn't that she felt a bit worried herself. They've had trouble with Indians before, sure, but this was something far more serious. She could feel it in the air. She listened politely to Teaspoon as he advised her of her route and tried to give her some good advice in case she would run into Indians. She had heard it all before, and she knew that no matter the advice given, each run was different from the other and you could never predict what might happen. She only wished that she could have used Lightning for this run, but her favorite horse had lost a shoe last night so she had to settle with one of the other horses. She looked over to the house where Emma was hanging up the laundry. Emma smiled at her and Lou smiled back, feeling happy that she had found a friend in the house keeper. Everything will be much easier now, she pondered, as she noticed a rider approaching. Teaspoon sighed loudly. He'd been afraid Ben had been attacked or held up by Indians, but if he made it through then it might not be as bad as Sam had feared.
"Rider coming!"
"Come on, Lou," Teaspoon urged and held the horse's reins as Lou mounted as Buck ran up to them.
"Take care, Lou," he said earnestly. Lou nodded and then urged the horse into a gallop, accepting the mochilla on her way out.
It was later than Kid had hoped when Sara Beth and he arrived at the way station. Sara Beth had insisted that she couldn't come empty-handed to Emma's and had baked an apple pie in the morning. She insisted that they waited until it had cooled down before they could leave and Kid had to hide his impatience. When they arrived at the station, Emma welcomed them with a surprised smile.
"Sara Beth! What on earth brings you out here?" she greeted as she wiped her hands on the apron.
"I was worried about you," Sara Beth replied, "and your riders. Luke told us about this awful Indian business."
"That was awfully nice of you, Sara Beth, but we're alright," Emma assured her, before turning to one of the riders who was working close by. "Ike, why don't you give Kid a hand with the horses, and tell the others that we've got guests. You came just in time for some coffee," she added for Sara Beth and Kid's benefit as she guided Sara Beth into the house. Kid turned to see the rider Emma had called Ike nod to him to bring the horse over to the stable. Two other riders were busy over by the bunkhouse but there was no one else to be seen.
Deep in thoughts and wondering where Lou might been, Kid unhitched the wagon from the horses as Ike brought forward water.
"Where is everybody?" Kid asked after a few minutes. "You're five riders, right?"
Ike nodded and moved his hands slowly. Kid frowned. What was he doing? Ike pointed to his mouth and then placed his hand over it.
"You can't talk?" Kid asked surprised. Ike nodded. Kid smiled apologetic wondering what he should say next, when Ike moved his hands again. Slowly it dawned on Kid what he was trying to tell him.
"You talk with your hands?"
Ike nodded and smiled at him, and then proceeded to answer his question. Kid felt relieved that he might be able to get the answer from Ike. The other two, Hickok and Cody if he remembered correctly, didn't exactly came forward as very friendly and he wasn't sure he liked their attitude. Their tough and self-assured appearance seemed to be a well-rehearsed act and Kid wasn't sure how much truth it was in it. But he couldn't help like Ike. The smile he received had been genuinely friendly and there didn't appear to be a hostile bone in his body. Different from the others, Ike did not wear a gun and Kid found it a bit odd considering the circumstances. True, he too preferred to go unarmed, but with the threat of Indian attacks, he had succumbed to wearing his gun at all times.
"One --- rider --- is out --- on a run?" Kid interpreted with a questioningly glance at Ike.
Ike nodded and his smiled broadly at Kid, showing his appreciation for Kid's effort.
"And the other?" Kid asked and then watched Ike's hand form the answer.
"Broken? - bad? - saddle --- riding? He's riding in a new saddle?"
Ike waved his hand to tell him he was close enough. Kid wondered if he would dare ask who was out on a run. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea - Ike could not tell him whom anyway. But after a while he felt he had to ask.
"Who's on a run?"
Ike scratched his chin. He had no way of telling the rider's name, but then he smiled and made the sign for 'little'.
Kid shook his head. "What's that? Small? Little?" Ike nodded and then Kid realized what he was telling him. The 'little' rider. Lou. He felt a chill run down his spine. He'd been too late. There was no use telling anybody that Lou was a girl now. She was already out there, facing danger. Kid forced himself to smile at Ike.
"The one called Lou?"
Ike nodded and then showed him where he could place their horses. They slowly walked out of the stable as Ike tried to ask Kid about the horse with which he had won the race.
"Katy? I bought her ---" Kid begun when they were interrupted by several shots.
With Cody as an interested spectator Jimmy was swiftly gunning down several cans from the fence with an impressive speed. Kid and Ike stopped and watched the show. Jimmy had finished one round when Kid lost interest and turned to Ike again when Jimmy called out to him.
"Hey, there farm boy. So you carry a gun after all. Think you can do that?" Jimmy indicated to the fence. Kid turned and looked calmly at him, seeing the challenge in his eyes. Cody watched him with a teasing smile, leaning at one of the poles at the porch, waiting interestedly for his response. Kid glanced at Ike, who quietly shook his head. Kid stared at Jimmy, knowing that he'd been challenge. He wondered, however, if Jimmy Hickok would be satisfied just firing at cans.
Lou rode quickly along the Express trail towards River's End. She had ridden the distance on several occasions already and was familiar with the route when an unexpected movement ahead of her caught her attention. She held in her horse and a few seconds later her suspicions were confirmed as a painted warrior appeared on the crest of the hill. When a second and a third joined him and Lou quickly realized that she couldn't continue on the run and she quickly turned back as two more approached from behind. Seeing only one option she turned her horse to the east hoping to be able to circle them back to the station. For the second time she wished she had had Lightning instead of the horse beneath her. Not that it was something wrong with the animal, but she was more comfortable with Lightning, besides he was among the fastest in the Express. The chase continued as Lou desperately sought a way out of her predicament. When she came upon a small area with a few trees just below a rocky area, she quickly turned towards it, hoping that she would be able to shake her pursuers off. She hadn't more than turned into the small gully that created the small forest before a dark shadow emerged from a rock above her, pushing her from her horse. The fall caused her to loose her breath and she struggled to get to her feet when her attacker seized her by the arm and brusquely dragged her to her feet. It was with some surprise she found herself staring into the dark eyes of Buck. She had no time to think as he dragged her behind the rock. And it was just in time as the warriors passed them only seconds later. When the last man had passed, Lou finally begun to breathe again, when she found Buck staring oddly at her.
"What is it?" she asked wondering if there still was danger around them.
"You're," he begun hesitantly before finding his voice, "you're a girl."
Lou felt her heart beat faster. How could he know that? Then she remembered how he had used himself to throw her off her horse, how they had hit the ground, his body closely covering hers---. She gasped and looked at him.
"You're not going to tell, are you?" she whispered as she felt her world crumbling around her. After hiding as a boy successfully for more than a month, her disguise was rapidly being shredded to pieces. First Kid, then Emma and now Buck. Buck stared uncomfortable at her, obviously uncertain of what to do.
"Why?" he asked finally.
"Why not? You're a half Indian in a white world, and I'm a girl in a man's world. If anybody understands why, it should be you."
Buck looked down on the ground contemplating her words. Lou waited impatiently for him to speak. Finally he nodded.
"I will not tell," he said and looked up. Lou smiled relieved at him.
"Thank you," she said, but before she could say anything more, he interrupted her when a noise from the trail told them that they weren't out of danger yet.
"We better get out of here," he whispered and grabbed Lou by the arm.
Kid stared uneasily at the Express rider, thinking for a moment of what would be his best move. He had no wish to enter into a shooting contest for fun, nor did he like the way he had been challenged. He tried to find a way out of it.
"Yes."
The simple answer seemed to infuriate Jimmy, who marched up to where Kid and Ike were standing.
"You think that you can prove that?" he asked harshly.
"I don't think I have to," Kid replied calmly.
"You think that you're better than us, don't you?" Jimmy sneered. "Think just 'cause you grew up with a family, you can look down on us 'cause we're orphans, don't you? Well, I don't give damn about what you think, since both you and I know that you can't shoot down those cans."
Kid clenched his fists, determined not to be lured into a fight. But before he could answer, a horse galloped into the yard, carrying two riders.
Lou swiftly dismounted from her position behind Buck's back as Teaspoon meet up with them.
"What happened?" Teaspoon asked.
"Ambushed by Indians," Lou replied, out of breath, "we lost one horse, but we got the pouch. Would have been killed hadn't Buck showed up."
Teaspoon looked suspiciously at Buck as Emma and Mrs. Darrow emerged from the house.
"Lou, Buck, are you alright?" Emma asked as she walked over to the bunkhouse. Jimmy and Cody, their argument with Kid all forgotten, joined them. Kid and Ike lingered by the horses uncertain of what to do. Kid's heart had skipped a beat when he had seen Lou ride in only to sigh silently when he had realized that she was unharmed.
"Buck?" Teaspoon asked.
"I thought that there might be trouble," Buck replied slowly, avoiding the stationmaster's gaze.
"You thought, he?"
Buck nodded as Ike walked up and took care of the horse.
"He saved my life," Lou stated, uncertain of where Teaspoon's questioning were leading.
"Alright," Teaspoon said finally. "You better wash up. I'll send word to the head-office that we might have to cancel some routes."
Lou sighed and headed over to the bunkhouse when she realized that they had company and she found herself staring at Kid. He smiled faintly at her and her heart skipped. What was he doing here? she wondered to herself, when her thoughts were interrupted by the others.
"Will that mean they'll bring in the army?" Buck asked Teaspoon, unable to hid his worry.
"What if they do?" Jimmy asked. "The sooner we can start doing our runs, the better, I'd say."
Buck looked at him with dismay, before returning to Teaspoon. Teaspoon scratched his chin,
"Can't rightly say, son. They might or they might not."
"I'd say they should," Cody stated.
"That would help anything," Buck objected. "They're only fighting for their rights."
"How come you know so much about it, he?" Jimmy asked, closing in on Buck with a dangerous look in his eyes. Lou rushed back from where she was standing and placed herself between Buck and Jimmy.
"Hold it," she ordered crisply. "Buck just saved my life, Jimmy. There's no reason for you to pick on him!"
Jimmy stared angrily at Lou. "You're picking a fight, Lou?" he asked, turning his right hand into a fist. He was still upset after Kid's calm defiance to his challenge and wasn't gonna let Lou make a fool of him in public. Lou saw the anger in his face and for a moment she feared that he actually would hit her. Then anger got hold of her and she put her chin out and stared defiantly at him.
"So if I am?" she asked tensely, wondering how the hell she would be able to beat Jimmy in a fistfight, but eager to stand her ground, when a hand on her shoulder gently ushered her out of the way.
"It ain't your fight, Lou," she heard Buck's voice behind her, but before anything happened Teaspoon was there, hovering over them from his slightly higher position on the porch.
"Why don't you boys put your heads into a bucket of cold water? I ain't gonna tolerate any fights here, especially when we got guests."
The mentioning of guest was probably the one thing that settled the boys. None of them had any wish to make a fool out of themselves in front of Mrs. Darrow and her son.
Kid stared at the boisterous group and when Lou placed herself between Buck and Jimmy, he involuntarily took a few steps forward as if to stop the fight, when he saw Buck intervene and he stood still, wondering what to do. How Lou could want to make her living among these ruffians was beyond him. When the riders with a nod in his direction filed off towards the bunkhouse, he saw how Buck looked at Lou and then gently helped her up to the porch and it struck him. The Indian rider knew that she was a girl. He frowned at the thought. Lou had told him that none of the others knew and he had believed him. But his eyes were not deceiving him. The gentle hand on Lou's back that had not been a gesture for a young boy, but more for a young woman. Kid had to admit that had he not known Lou was a girl then he probably wouldn't have noticed it, but with his knowledge it was impossible to mistake the look and the gesture. For a moment he had a lump in his throat, but then managed to swallow hard. So if one of the boys knew? It was Lou's decision wasn't it? But he couldn't help wondering why she had told him? Maybe she likes him, a voice inside his head told him, nagging him. But why would that concern him? He wasn't interested in Lou, nor to whom she decided to give her affection to. It just wasn't his business. Besides he had Laura. His mother interrupted his thoughts declaring that she was ready to go home and Kid quickly made the wagon ready.
Lou was still on his mind as they drove back, when his mother sighed and shook her head.
"I'm so pleased that you and Jed aren't associated with any of those boys," she said. "Did you see how they were about to start a fight back there? Rogues, all of them - and that Emma trust that Indian in her house id beyond me. Especially with all the Indian trouble that's going on around here. I spoke to Thompkins yesterday and he's not happy about it either."
"Thompkins is overreacting," Kid stated. "And the riders were just worried about their friend, Ma."
"Being worried is no reason to start fights. I wish that you stay away from them, Kid. Nothing good can come from that bunch."
Kid sighed and wondered what his mother would say if she knew that one of the "boys" was a girl. She'd probably through a fit about the behavior of a proper young girl, he thought, especially considered the fact that she slept int the same room as the rest of the boys. To be honest, that part concerned him as well. He was not comfortable with the knowledge that the small girl spent every night in a room filled with boys, but there was nothing he could do about it if he didn't want to relieve her true identity. And he had given his word not to do it.
"I heard that you were going to take Laura to a picnic on Friday," his mother continued with a smile on her face. She really liked Laura and hoped that the young couple would continue to meet.
Kid smiled faintly. He had actually forgotten the picnic with Laura in his worry for Lou.
"Yes," he said simply.
"Well?"
Kid sighed when he realized that he would not get away with anything less than a description of when, how and whatever else Sara Beth wanted to know.
"I asked her after the dance," he admitted. "I thought I could help Mr. Thompkins out tomorrow for a few extra dollars, I thought I could buy some of that chocolate..."
"Oh, it's a wonderful idea, honey," Sara Beth exclaimed. "And I'll bake that favorite cake for you," she said with a wink, that only made Kid blush.
"It's no trouble, Ma - it's only a picnic."
"Nothing is so little that it should be without my cake," Sara Beth said determinedly, and Kid had to give in.
There was a tension in the bunkhouse as the riders settled for the night. Jimmy was still in a fool mood and despite Ike's explanation of what had happened and the challenge with Kid, Buck and Lou still felt uneasy in Jimmy's presence. Cody did his best to make a joke of it, but failed miserably. Without having the matter resolved, they turned in and all of them hoped that the day after would it would be resolved or forgotten.
Lou couldn't sleep. The day's event wouldn't leave her mind, with the result that the harder she tried to sleep the more awake she become. Finally she realized that there was just one thing to do and that was to get out and walk around. Silently she slipped out of her bunk, careful not to wake the others and walked out. It was a beautiful night and for a second she just stood there watching the stars. She silently walked down the porch and over to the stable where she could here the soft sound of horses moving. Walking back to the porch she was reluctant to return to the bunk and sat down on the bench, contemplating the events from earlier. She wondered what on earth had possessed her to challenge Jimmy. It was so stupid, especially since she wouldn't have a chance against Jimmy or any of the other boys. Not that she'd never been in a fight before - there had been plenty of those at the orphanage either to protect her siblings from bullies or to protect the few valuables they had. But that had been children's fights and even if she did beat up some of the boys that were bigger than her, it was nothing compared with fighting Jimmy. She sighed at the thought. And Kid had been there to see the whole thing. Well, now she had made certain that he would never look at her - not only did she dress as a boy, she had also proven that she was no better than the bullies she had fought in the orphanage. She had just been so upset. After almost losing her life, Buck finding out that she was a girl, Teaspoon and the others suspicions against Buck, seeing Kid at the station, Jimmy's anger was just too much for her to take. And Buck wouldn't have to take the accusations, he had saved her life, damn them! She sighed when somebody cleared his throat behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Jimmy standing there.
"Mind if I join you, Lou?"
Lou shook her head and Jimmy sat down next to her. They sat in silence for a few minutes, before Jimmy leaned forward and stared out into the night.
"I never meant to fight with you, Lou," he said.
"Yeah? You sure could have fooled me," Lou muttered.
"Ah, come on, you know I don't fight those, eh, smaller than me," Jimmy objected.
"Oh, so just 'cause I happen to be small I'm safe then?" Lou couldn't help tease him.
"Let it go, Lou. I guess I'm trying to say that I'm sorry. I was angry and
it took it out on you and Buck and I had no reason to."
"Why was you angry by the way?"
Jimmy frowned. "Don't really know - guess it that Kid-fellow. He gets on my nerves."
"Why?" Lou wondered.
Jimmy shrugged. "Don't know. Guess it's 'cause he's so full of himself, thinking that he's better than us."
Lou glanced at him. She wanted to tell him that Kid was nothing like that, that he was one of the most down-to-earth men she had met. But she couldn't. She thought she knew why Jimmy disliked Kid. Envy. She had felt it herself when seeing Kid with his family, his father, mother and brother. They seemed to be the perfect family and she wasn't surprised that there would be some envy. And Jimmy seemed to walk around with a big chip on his shoulder. She just hoped that it wouldn't get worse.
"You shouldn't let him get to you like that," she advised.
"Don't I know it," Jimmy smiled slightly. He rose. "Guess I should get back. It was good talking to you, Lou." He hesitated. "I don't know, but you're easy to talk to, Lou. You're like," he shrugged embarrassed," a little brother."
Lou smiled at the thought. "Well, thank you, big brother," she said lightly and rose to hit Jimmy on the shoulder in a playful gesture. "Just don't forget you have to apologize to Buck in the morning."
Jimmy moaned slightly as they returned to their bunks.