WHEN
YOU SEE MEWHEN
YOU SEE MEby Nesciri
CHAPTER 4
They were late to the dance. None of them had kept track of the time and it wasn't until Teaspoon stood in the doorway that they realized that they were late. None of them knew exactly why it had taken them so long to get ready, but Lou couldn't help notice that Jimmy seemed a bit hesitant and had stalled a little. Not that Lou understood his hesitation for going to the dance, even if he couldn't dance. Although Cody claimed to be the most handsome in the bunch, she couldn't help thinking that Jimmy was for better looking than Cody. She was sure that there would be plenty of women hoping that he'd ask them for a dance at the social, although she thought he looked better in his working clothes than the dark jacket and tie he wore for the social. Cody had also let go of his fringed jacket and wore a gray jacket that Lou thought looked a bit odd on the normally overdressed Cody. She wouldn't have been the least surprised if he had worn something more visible as bright red or something like that. Ike had also taken out his Sunday bests, although it looked a bit too big for him. He had skipped the bandanna and Lou couldn't help notice that he carefully avoided looking at himself in the mirror as he passed it. Lou couldn't help feeling sorry for him - he would have been a very handsome young man had he not lost his hair, she thought as she too avoided the mirror. She and Buck were the only one not dressed up. Lou didn't feel like it - she wasn't going to the dance to impress any girls and had been satisfied with taking a shower and change into a clean shirt. Buck had done the same and then pulled back his hair into a ponytail and declared that he was ready. Lou suspected that he only went to the dance because Emma told them and because Ike wanted to go. Their laziness had the consequence that when they arrived into town, they could already hear the music from the town hall. In one way this suited Lou. It would mean that people were already busy talking or dancing and would pay the newcomers less attention.
Or would have if Jimmy hadn't been with them. They hadn't taken more than a few steps into the room, Cody with a big smile in his face, when Thompkins the store owner gently took Jimmy aside and asked him to leave his gun by the door. Jimmy first refused, but with Cody's persuasion finally handed the gun over to Thompkins. But for Lou the damage was already done. Several people had noticed the argument and looked interested on the newcomers. Lou lowered her head and quickly followed the others over to where Emma stood, talking to Sam. Covered by the others, Lou listened preoccupied on their conversation as she looked at the people. She let her eyes wander over the dancing couples with a sting of envy. It could have been her out there, dressed a young woman, dancing and smiling. If only --- she stopped in her thoughts as they danced into her view. They were a beautiful couple as they easily moved on the dance floor. There was nothing clumsy in the way he moved her around, smiling at her. She wished he had smiled like that at her, his blue eyes twinkling with joy as his brown hair that seem to have refused to be ruled by a comb fell into his face. She saw the girl look up into his face and smile at something he said, her light hair brushed away from her face and fastened with a simple hair slide on her crown. She wore a simple, yet beautiful dress that fitted her tender figure like a glove.
Lou tried to keep her face blank as her heart beat faster. How could she ever had hoped that he would see her? Besides he already had a girlfriend, and a beautiful girlfriend at that. He's not for me, she thought as the music ended and Kid leaned forward to whisper something in Laura's ear that apparently met with approval since she smiled and blushed slightly. He probably told her how beautiful she looked, Lou thought, wishing with all her heart that she had been the girl at that moment. Then she got angry with herself. What are you thinking, Louise McCloud, she scorned, you're not here for only to fall for the first farm boy that you lay your eyes on. Just do your work and get enough money to get Jeremiah and Teresa from the orphanage. But still she couldn't keep her eyes of Kid. It wasn't until Ike nudged her in the side that she managed to tear herself from watching the dance floor as Kid placed his arm around Laura for a second dance. A bit startled Lou looked up and realized that the others had moved over to a table filled with punch, cakes and cookies of various sorts. Teaspoon had already served himself a giant piece of chocolate cake and Lou couldn't help but smile at the sight, a smile that broadened as she saw the portion Cody was busy eating.
"Where are all the girls you flirted with, Cody?" she asked innocent as she reached for a plate. The chocolate cake did look delicious and eating was safe - nobody would take any notice about the small boy if she had a plate in her hand. At her comment Ike's face was lit up with a big grin as he noticed Cody choke on a large bit of cake.
"You don't understand this, Lou," Cody explained as he had regained his dignity.
"Understand what?" Jimmy asked, coming to Lou's help.
"Women," Cody explained and looked at his friends.
"Women?" Lou couldn't help smiling. "And here I thought you were just eating."
"I'm looking, Lou," Cody said not being upset over his friends obvious lack of understanding. "You don't just rush over to a girl and ask her to dance. You need to treat women with a little finesse. And to do that ---"
"Ah, get off your high horses, Cody - you're here for the same reason as always - your stomach," Jimmy complained as he let his eyes roam over the room until he locked eyes with a dark beauty standing alone by the dance floor, her fingers lightly tapping to the rhythm of the music. Now Jimmy Hickok maybe had a few things to learn about dancing, but he knew an opportunity when he saw it and with a quick "see you later", he handed Cody his plate and made his way over to the girl. Ike, Lou and Buck did their best to hide their laughs as Cody stood there with two plates and a bewildered look in his face, when Jimmy a few minutes later brought the dark beauty onto the dance floor. Cody muttered something that was impossible to hear, glaring angrily at his fellow riders at the table that failed miserably at looking serious.
Cody placed both plates on the table with a disappointed look as he still had a large piece of chocolate cake left, before following Jimmy over to the dance floor. Not wanting to be outdone by his friend, the cocky young rider directed his steps over to the other end of the table.
"Where is he going?" Buck asked with a frown as they followed Cody's purposeful strive.
"I don't know, "Lou mumbled when she suddenly saw who Cody had set his eyes of. Standing on the other side of the room she was a vision of blonde loveliness, her hair pulled up, allowing strays of blonde hair frame her face. A white pearl necklace enhanced her beauty as did the light blue satin dress she wore. "He ain't thinking of asking her, is he?" Lou added with a gasp.
"She'll turn him down," Buck muttered with something that sounded suspiciously like hope in Lou's ears. She turned and cast a glance at Buck's face. So that's why you wanted to win so badly, she thought. I should have known - the banker's daughter. And now Cody as well. Men, she thought morosely to herself. So if Kathleen Devlin is beautiful? Surely that wasn't the only thing men thought of? Lou watched how Cody introduced himself to Ms. Devlin and although she didn't wanted to deprive Cody of his fun, she hoped that Buck was right. She didn't like Kathleen Devlin. She had a feeling that the only things Ms. Devlin brought to those interested in her were heartbreak and sorrow. She couldn't explain it, but she would have preferred if Cody, or any of the boys for that matter, choose any other girl over Kathleen Devlin. She couldn't help making a foul face when Cody apparently managed to charm Kathleen Devlin to a dance. She cast another glance over her shoulder at Buck and managed to get a glimpse of the disappointment in his face before he returned to his normal expression. Lou sighed silently. They'd be better off without her, she thought as she pondered men's stupidity. A pretty face and they never saw longer than their nose, she added in her mind as she noticed a girl looking their way.
Lou quickly nudged Ike, who was standing closest, in the side.
"Why don't you ask her to dance?" she said and nodded discreetly in the girl's direction. Ike looked at in the direction and Lou saw a slight blush in his face.
<I can't dance,> he signed a bit embarrassed.
"Well, neither can Jimmy, but you don't see him standing here, do you?" Lou tried to encourage Ike. Ike shook his head.
<You ask her to dance.>
"I think she wants to dance with you," Lou insisted.
Ike indicated his head and mouth and shook his head again.
<No, she doesn't want to dance with me,> he signed again and looked at her, telling her that he appreciated the thought but he was better off not dancing. Lou felt an urge to ask him what he was doing at the dance if he didn't plan to dance, but realized that Ike had not had any higher expectations except just being there. She nodded and tried to concentrate on eating her cake.
But a cake doesn't last forever, and after two hours of watching people dancing and enjoying themselves, Lou desperately wanted to get out of there. If it was hard acting as a boy over at the station, it was worse trying to act as a boy on a town social. Both Jimmy and Cody had danced with several of the girls, when there weren't found by the cake table. Ike and Buck seemed content on just watching and talking to Emma, Sam and Teaspoon. Lou even found that hard, especially when Cody or Jimmy returned and made comments on the girls. She had no clue to how boys acted on dances and sometimes the remarks or comments, especially Cody's, forced her to bit her tongue or she should have lashed out at him at a very non-boyish way. How did girls put up with that? she pondered as she swallowed her pride with a piece of pie.
Finally she had had enough and quietly she slipped out under the pretence of getting some fresh air. The night air was a bit chilly but she hardly noticed as she kicked a stone on the ground on her way over to the corral. She leaned over the fence and looked up at the stars. It was a beautiful night, but Lou had a hard time appreciating the beauty. She could still hear the music and the laughter and although she tried not to think about it, she still saw the images of the dancing couples in her mind and she couldn't help the tears in her eyes. She angrily wiped away them with her hand, angry that she had succumbed to them when she was startled by a voice behind her.
"Lou? Louise?"
Lou turned around and found herself looking into the concerned eyes of Kid Darrow. When he saw that she was alright, he smiled at her.
"Sorry," he said apologizing, "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just out to get some fresh air when I saw you."
"That's alright," Lou replied as she tried to get her heart to beat slower, hoping that he wouldn't see that she had been on the edge crying.
"That was some good riding you did today," he said and stood next to her by the fence.
"Thank you," Lou said, still trying to collect herself. "You were pretty good yourself." Kid smiled softly and looked out over the corral as Lou scolded herself. 'You're pretty good yourself', was that all she could think of to say? He must think I'm a jerk, she thought. Then she cleared her throat.
"Congratulation on the first place," she croaked. This was even worse. Lou closed her eyes for a second and hoped he wouldn't deem her a complete fool. Kid shrugged.
"Thank you. It was a good race."
Silence fell as they both watched the deserted streets of Sweetwater. Then they both opened their mouth at the same time.
"Thank you for--," Lou begun as Kid said:
"You're-"
They looked at each other, with a hint of embarrassment, before Kid laughed softly.
"Go on," he insisted.
"No, you first," Lou replied quickly, not wanting to make a more fool of herself than she already was.
"I just wanted to say that you're an excellent rider," Kid smiled.
"Oh. Thanks."
"What was it you wanted to say?"
"Thank you for not telling anybody," Lou said seriously. Kid pouted his lips.
"No need to say thanks. You know, it wasn't an easy decision - I still believe that the work is too dangerous for a girl - even with your riding skills," he quickly added as he saw her clouded face.
"I can do the job just as well as any of the boys," she mumbled.
"I didn't say you couldn't," Kid defended himself. "I just said it was dangerous. But then I thought about what you told me and I figured you had a right to make a living on your own."
"I appreciate that."
"So nobody else knows about this, about you being a girl?" Kid looked interestingly at her. Lou shook her head.
"No, nobody."
How could they not see it, Kid pondered as he glanced at her. Sure, her hair was short and she wore men's clothes, but now that he knew - he could almost see how the dark brown hair would frame her hair if it was longer, enhancing those beautiful brown eyes, eyes that was so easy to get lost in…
"She's very pretty," Lou blurted out, uncertain of what to say. Kid looked startled at her.
"Who?"
"Your girlfriend."
"Oh, you mean Laura. Well, yes, I suppose she is," Kid replied a bit uncomfortable. When he saw Lou's frown he quickly continued.
"We've known each other since school and we're -," he stopped, uncertain of what they were. "We're very good friends." Lou glanced over to the town hall.
"Don't you think they are missing you in there?" Lou asked, uncertain of the reason why he was standing outside with her. "Your family, I mean?"
"I don't think so," Kid smiled lightly. "Mother and father were in a deep discussion with Mr. and Mrs. Brown about something water rights and knitting - I'm not sure who's discussing what - and one of your Express friends asked Laura for a dance, and I needed some fresh air." Kid always referred to Luke Darrow as father. It saved him a lot of explanations and if people found out that his mother wasn't married to the man it would only make things more difficult.
"You let someone else dance with Laura?" Lou looked surprised at him.
"Why not? I can't tell her what she should or shouldn't do - besides, she probably be bored just dancing with me."
I wouldn't mind, Lou thought as she envied Laura. She didn't know of many men that thought their girlfriends actually could make their own decisions.
"You're not jealous then?"
Kid frowned. Jealous? Should he be jealous because Laura danced with someone else? He had never thought about that and the imagine of Laura dancing with someone else suddenly made him feel a bit uneasy.
"Should I be?" he asked and Lou suddenly felt guilty for asking, but before she could explain herself, Kid continued. "I'm not jealous," he said shaking his head, "Laura and I've known each other too long for that." Deep inside he couldn't help fearing that there was another reason for him not being the slightest jealous, but right now he decided that he was right. He could trust Laura. After all, she was the one he hoped to take out to dinner tomorrow, she was the one that always had been there, the one he was hoping he was falling in love with. There shouldn't be a problem for him telling the young girl by his side that Laura was his girlfriend, except for a certain voice that echoed in his mind - tell her that you don't care about Laura, that you've been thinking about her ever since you found out that she was a girl. But he never said anything and as the music silenced he straightened himself.
"I better get back inside. I have to save Laura from your friends I think," he bantered. "It was nice talking to you."
"It was nice talking to you too."
And then he was gone. Lou clenched her sweaty hands into tight fist, jabbing them lightly at the fence. How could I be so stupid? she thought. All those questions about Laura - now he'll never talk to me again, never.
