WHEN
YOU SEE MEWHEN
YOU SEE MEby Nesciri
Kid reached the horse and quickly dismounted Katy. A quick examination of the horse told him that it was alright and he started to search the surroundings for the rider. He knew that whoever it was he couldn't be far from the horse. The horse would not stray far from it's rider. It took him a good five minutes before he saw the unconscious form not far from the trail. He rushed over to the rider and turning him over he immediately recognized the smallest of the Express riders at the Sweetwater station, the one called Lou. He had almost forgotten about him since they had been introduced two weeks ago. He quickly scanned for any wounds and noticed a blood patch on the jacket. Something had happened but the open field was not the right place to check the wound out. He remembered that he was not too far away from the Olsen's old house. It had been empty since Olsen left the town, but he thought he remembered that Olsen had some furniture behind. He hoped that one of the bunks still was there. With that intention he picked up the tiny rider and helped him up onto Katy before he mounted himself. Grabbing the reins of the Express horse he set off in a brisk trot towards the Olsen house.
He carried the still unconscious rider into the house and he to his relief there was a bunk close by the window. Placing the rider on the bunk he removed the jacket and begun pulling up the rider's shirt to see how badly wounded he was. The rider mumbled something as he started to come through.
"Take it easy, "Kid said, "I'm just trying to help you."
Suddenly the rider realized what he was doing and to Kids surprise he started to fight him.
"I'm just trying to help," he repeated as he continued to try and uncover the assumed wound. He had almost managed when he noticed something else. He stopped in his movements and in shock he just stared at the rider who was now slowly becoming more aware of the surroundings and was pushing the shirt down again.
"You're - you're a girl," Kid managed to stutter forward when he finally found his voice.
The young girl before him looked at him with tired eyes that also held a bit of anger and fear.
"So what?" she asked as she tried to shield herself from the fear of being detected and the pain that emerged from her side. She stared up at Kid as she tried to read the emotions in his face. Would he give her secret away?
"You ain't gonna tell are you?" She tried to sound strong, but the pain in her side seemed to get worse and her voice was noting more than a harsh whisper. For a minute she had to fight losing her conscience as she waited for his reply. Kid saw the pain in her eyes and avoided her question.
"I better see to that wound," he mumbled and nodded to her side. Lou hesitated for a second, but as the pain once more threatened to take over, she slowly lifted her shirt again, this time no higher than necessary. Kid tried not to look at her face as he quickly made an estimation of the wound. It wasn't deep, but she had lost quite a lot of blood which would account for her losing conscience. He cleaned the wound with what was left in his water canteen and then made a rude bandage to prevent the bleeding. He finished it up and then he dared to look up into her face. She stared at him with the same uncertainty as she had before. He didn't know what to do, so he just sat there, looking down at his hands, now and then daring to glance back at her. Finally he managed to think of something to say.
"You're called Lou, ain't you? Is that your real name?"
Lou shook her head. There was no reason for her to hide it now.
"No."
"What is it?"
"Louise. Louise McCloud."
Kid silenced and a few more minutes passed away in an awkward silence.
"Are you gonna tell anybody?" Lou asked again and watched him nervously. If it came out that she was a girl she would loose the job as an Express rider and all that she was hoping for would be lost. She wouldn't be able to get her siblings out of the orphanage for one thing.
"Does anyone else know?" Kid asked, staring at his hands again.
"No. They don't know, and I would like to keep it that way."
"Why?"
"Why? Because I'll lose the job otherwise."
"No, I meant why are you doing this? You're a girl, and riding for the Express - well, it ain't a girl's work."
Lou sighed. He was going to tell, she could feel it.
"I've gotta make a living," she muttered.
"But surely there must be other ways?"
"Not for a girl. Please, Kid - it is Kid ain't it?" Lou was well aware that he was called Kid, but for some reason she didn't want him to know that she knew.
Kid nodded and waited for her to continue.
"You can't tell anybody," she pleaded. "I need this job and there's nothing else for me to do."
"But there must be something else - a woman shouldn't need to do a man's work. Couldn't you find anything else?"
Not if I wanted to have an honorable job, Lou thought to herself. "No."
"I can't let you do this," Kid stated. "It's to dangerous. I'm sure my mother could help you find another job in town---"
Lou sighed. He wasn't getting it - nobody in their right mind hired an orphaned girl in her teens, especially if it was known that she had dressed up as a man. They would probably hang her before.
"Why do you even care what I'm doing?" she sneered angrily. "It ain't your problem."
Kid didn't know what to reply. She was partly right - it wasn't his problem. But how could he just let her continue with what she was doing? Didn't she realize that she could get hurt or worse killed? And what if she was found out on a run? Wasn't she aware of the dangers a woman could face on her own in the wilderness?
"You can't seriously mean that you intend to continue to do this?"
"Yes, I do. And for your information, I'm doing a damn good job!" Lou was upset now. And scared. What if he told everybody that she was a girl? Lou desperately wanted to know, but before Kid could answer her there was a sound outside. Kid rushed to the door, only to be faced with two more Express riders, Jimmy and Buck. Jimmy stared questioningly at him.
"You know where the rider of that horse is?" he asked and pointed to the dark Express horse standing next to Katy. Before Kid could answer Lou staggered out behind him.
"I'm right here Jimmy," she replied in a low voice. Jimmy frowned at her.
"What happened?"
"Some fools tried to rob me a few miles back. Managed to outrun them, but one of their bullets must have grazed me."
"You're alright?"
"I'm fine."
"You've lost a lot of blood," Kid objected but silenced as Lou stared
angrily back at him. Kid clenched his teeth but refrained from saying anything.
"What are you doing here?" Jimmy wondered.
"He found me," Lou replied. "How did you know I was here?"
"Buck found your tracks. You're ready to ride? Teaspoon's waiting for you."
"Sure." Lou walked over to her horse, ready to head back. Swaying slightly as she tried to mount up, she gratefully accepted Buck's support. Then she turned to Kid.
"Thanks," she said.
"Take care," was all Kid could find to say as the riders headed back to the station. As soon as they had left, he regretted letting them go. He should had told them about Lou - it wasn't right that she would continue to work like that. She had managed to escape with a grazing this time, but what about next? But at the same time he knew that there was something that had prevented him from telling her secret. Especially to the other riders, especially Jimmy Hickok. He wanted to keep it to himself.
You're crazy, he scolded himself. Let her do whatever she wants. It's not your problem. But the girl dressed as a boy wasn't to be dismissed as easily and she was still on his mind when he returned home.
Lou rode in silence with the others back to the station. The wound still hurt some but not so bad. She would have felt worse if she had lost the mochilla. No rider had ever lost one and she was damned if she was going to be the first. She silently gazed at the others to see if they noticed anything different with her, but they didn't act any differently than they had for five weeks now. They obviously still believed she was a boy and she silently held her breath. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Maybe Kid wouldn't say anything, maybe everything would be fine. But she knew it wouldn't. Something had changed. Ever since she first had seen Kid, there had been something about him that kept him in her mind. She had even fantasized about him meeting her as a girl, what kind of dress she would wear and so on. And now he had met her as a girl and it was nothing like her dream. Instead he knew that she dressed up as a boy and did a boy's work. If she ever had hoped that he would pay her any attention that hope was gone now. Kid would never be interested in a girl like her. Well, what had you been thinking, she thought. That he would ever be interested in a girl like you even if he had met you under other circumstances? With your background? I just have to get him out of my mind, she thought. I have to.
Cody gently pushed Jimmy away from the only mirror in the bunkhouse.
"What do you think you're doing?" Jimmy objected.
"Don't be upset, Jimmy," Cody replied, "but since there's only one here that have an appearance worth looking at, I would say I'm entitled to the mirror."
"I'll give you something to look at," Jimmy threatened and tightened his fist when Lou broke in.
"What are you arguing about," she muttered. "You're gonna be in the race and after that you'll have dust all over yourself anyway."
"Lou," Cody said as if trying to teach a kid something, "I know you'll not understand this, but a man has to look his best at all time. Especially before a race. Besides I intent to win in style."
"You intent to win?" Jimmy questioned and soon a friendly argument took over between the friends. Lou looked at them in envy. Everything was so easy for them, she pondered, when Ike asked her attention by tapping to his chest.
<You haven't said anything,> he signed, <are you entering the race? You're the fastest of us.>
Lou nodded.
"I have to. For nothing else is to keep those two on the ground." She nodded over to where Jimmy and Cody had gone from arguing to laughing at a private joke. Ike grinned at her and she smiled back. But it wasn't a sincere smile.
She was trembling inside at the thought of going into town. Teaspoon had signed up all of them for the race with the explanation that it was time they showed the town just how good they were. And Emma had insisted that all of them went to the dance later. She didn't know what she feared most, going into town with the fear that Kid might have told anybody of her, or finding out that he hadn't and being forced to attend the dance as a boy. Cody, Jimmy and Ike had rejoiced at the news, but both Buck and she had seemed more hesitant. She knew why she didn't want to go, but she wondered why Buck was reluctant. She had dismissed the thought quickly. He probably had his reason as she was not the one prying. She had enough to hide herself.
She looked at the group with which she had spent the last seven weeks with. She couldn't believe that a bunch of different people actually could get along as well as they had. She already liked all of them and she would hate to loose them. She wondered what they would say if they knew as she discreetly looked at them. There was Cody, the cocky one, who's vanity had surprised her at first, but now only made her laugh. And then Jimmy, whom she had been rather hesitant of first, with his attitude and temper. But she had quickly learned that underneath that harsh surface was a good heart - and a large one. He and Cody had sort of paired off rather quickly, both getting bored by inactivity. Emma had complained that the two of them would worry her to death. And then Ike, who had been hesitant to learn how to shoot accurate. She had actually had to help him once. She smiled at the thought. she wasn't perfect in using it either, but Ike had found his lack of knowledge embarrassing and finally had asked Lou for some help, not daring to ask any of the others, not even Buck.
How Ike ever would be able to use the gun on another person was however beyond her. Ike was one of the most gentle persons she had ever met and although he couldn't speak, he could express more feelings than anyone else. And then there was Buck, Ike's best friend. They had met at an orphanage and Lou wondered how Buck had ended up there. He wasn't saying much about his background, but somehow Cody had managed to get out of him that he had been living in a tribe most of his life. Apart from that she didn't know much. But Ike and him was the closest of friends. That left her, and she wasn't too interested in bonding - it was hard enough as it was, being a girl among boys. The more she kept to herself the easier the deception was. And somehow the boys seemed to have grown accustomed to and come to respect her need for privacy.
Kid picked up Laura Allen in good time before the race. He had finally decided to ask her to the dance and with helping Luke and Mr. Thompkins with the preparations and tending to Katy, he had actually been able to put Lou out of his mind. He smiled warmly when Laura stepped out on the porch as he drove up the wagon outside the Allen's farm. Mr. Allen nodded his greeting as Kid helped her up together with her basket.
"Take care of yourselves now," he said. "Planning on winning the race this year too, Kid?"
"Yes, sir," Kid replied politely.
"Good luck then. Mrs. Allen and myself will join up with you in time to see you race."
Laura and Kid waved their good-byes and headed back to town where Katy was waiting at the livery.
"Is that one of your pies I could smell in that basket?" Kid smiled at Laura.
"Yes," she said laughingly, "but that's for the contest."
When Kid made a disappointed face, she smiled at him.
"Don't worry, I made two, and I'll make sure to save you a part. How's Katy?"
That was one thing he liked with Laura. She had never made fun of his affection for his horse, in fact she had always been interested in how Katy was.
"She's fine," he replied happily. "I don't think we'll have any problem in this year's race."
"Of course not," Laura smiled. "Katy is a magnificent horse." Laura looked at the boy next to her. She had loved him since he and his family first came to Sweetwater four years ago. From the day he had walked in to the schoolhouse, a tall, gangly boy of fourteen she had secretly and shyly watched him grow into a fine young man, hoping that he one day would see her the way she saw him. She was thrilled the first time he asked her to a dance and deeply disappointed when it seemed to end there. Then he asked her a few more times, but they had never really been a couple. But she hadn't give up hoping.
"Hi there," Laura said to the horse as they walked into the livery to see to Katy before the race. Then she turned to Kid.
"Can I give her something?"
"Give her a carrot, there should be some in the box over there," Kid consented. "But just one," he added as he reached for the brush. He started brushing his beloved horse, when he saw Laura walk up to Katy offering her the carrot and softly giggling at Katy's muzzle tickling her hands. He had known her since they both were fourteen and suddenly he realized that she had grown up. With her long dark blonde her pulled away from her face by two combs on the side and her light blue eyes she was more beautiful than he remembered. When she looked up at him, smiling. He couldn't help smiling back at her. He was just about to tell her how good she looked when the call came.
"All ready for the horse race!"
"I better get Katy out there," Kid said, both sorry and relieved that the words never left his mouth. Laura held Katy as he placed the saddle on the horse. Then she followed him as he led Katy out on the street. It was Laura who saw them first.
"Looks as them Pony Express are going to enter the race," she said and pointed towards the starting line. Kid followed her hand and saw them, gathered by the starting line among their manager and Mrs. Shannon. When they saw him, Cody tipped his hat in a mock salute and grinned, Jimmy stared unfriendly at him before he saw Lou. She just looked at him before mounting her dark horse, and suddenly he realized that she inteded to ride in the race as well.