AND JILL CAME TUMBLING AFTER

After a few days the bruise on Jack's face faded to a blotchy yellow and purple. Clearly she was on the mend, but the wound was a constant reminder to Jimmy that he had failed her once again. He knew Teaspoon and the Kid had spoken the truth, that it did a man no good to dwell on the past, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was still something he could do to right things. Bart Phillips didn't deserve to walk away scot-free after hurting Jack again.

At night he stayed awake long after she had fallen asleep. He watched as her eyes fluttered beneath her lids, listened intently to the gentle sounds of her breathing. He was entranced by her lips, her scent, her soft skin so smooth under his fingers. In the fading light of evening, after the pain in her eyes so evident during the day, he watched her find peace in her slumber.

Gently tracing the contours of the bruise with the pad of his thumb, Jimmy sighed in muted anger. It just wasn't right. And it was more than wanting revenge -- it was needing justice. She was so beautiful. So amazing. How could anyone want to hurt her? How could anyone want to do anything but love her and protect her?

For the first time Jack stirred, stretched her arms above her head, lifting her lids. Her eyes searched, still hazy, till they rested on Jimmy as he lay next to her, watching her. She smiled sleepily. "Hello."

Jimmy grinned. "Hello."

"Mmm..." she stretched again. "What time is it?"

Jimmy glanced over his shoulder at the clock that ticked companionably on the bureau. "About...half past one."

Jack's eyes widened. "In the *morning*?"

"Yes, in the *morning*," he teased, imitating her still so-proper accent.

"What are you doing up?"

"Watchin' you."

She flushed. "You need your sleep."

"It's a nicer way to spend my time than sleepin'."

"Oh, Jimmy," she said reprovingly, but she looked pleased.

"You just get prettier and prettier the longer I know you."

Jack rolled her eyes. "And you just get more and more full of bull, as Teaspoon would say." She softened her words, running her hand up his bare arm and smiling. She snuggled closer. Jimmy put his arm around her. They were nose to nose. "Now, that's nice," he said with approval.

"Isn't it, though?" giggled Jack. She rested her head on the pillow next to his.

Jimmy lifted his head and dropped a kiss on the tender skin on Jack's face.

She stiffened. "Jack? Honey? What is it?"

"Jimmy...it still bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What?"

"This -- my bruise; what Bart did to me. It still bothers you, doesn't it?"

"I'd be lyin' if I said it didn't."

"Oh, Jimmy." She sighed, pulling away a little.

"Don't pull away from me, Jack," he said in frustration, dragging her back to him. "We have to talk about this. I'm goin' crazy thinkin' up ways to make that man pay for what he's done to you."

"And *I'm* going crazy trying to make you see sense and be Jimmy again!"Her simple words stung. For a moment neither said anything. "Jimmy, these past few months have been the hardest of my life. Harder than leaving my parents, harder than leaving *you*, harder than any punch or kick Bart Phillips ever handed me. Those weeks after Maddy died -- everyone tried so desperately to take care of me. And I loved them for it, but it was *you* I wanted. *You*. Because you're the only one in the world who can make me feel whole again, who can make me feel like Jack again. You spent so many days away and I was just torn up inside. I couldn't work out what it was I had done to drive you away --"

Jimmy had to interrupt. "Jack, you know it wasn't anything *you'd* done!"

"Yes," she nodded, "I know that now. But I didn't at the time, Jimmy. I only knew that I needed you, wanted you desperately, and you never came."

"Aw, Jack...I know I should just hang myself and be done with it."

"Hush. Don't ever say a thing like that, Jimmy Hickok." She put her fingers up against his lips, silencing him. She rested her forehead against his. "I know now what it was. I understand now, you see...all your anger, all your frustration, all your guilt...it was just your way of pushing the pain away. You concentrated so whole-heartedly on my grief that you neglected your own. Don't you think you've pushed it far enough away now, Jimmy? Don't you think it's time you accepted your own grief?"

She could see the tears threatening his eyes, watched as he blinked them fiercely away. She drew his body closer to hers and cradled his head in her hands. Softly, she murmured, "I do need you, Jimmy. But what I need is for you to hold my hand as I work my way through this; not for you to carry my burdens for me."

Jimmy clung to her, his arms binding her close. She could hardly breathe but she did not protest. She knew instinctively that what he needed was a gentle push in the right direction. "Jimmy," she whispered lovingly, "she may have been made from Magnus and me, but she was your daughter, too."

And for the first time since Maddy's death, Jimmy allowed himself to cry. He was not ashamed of the tears, only relieved that he was at last able to free them, that Jack had at last seen through to the truth. He cried till he could cry no more, and Jack never let him out of her arms.

After a while he was silent, though he held Jack as tightly as before. She felt his body calming, his breathing steady itself. She thought he had fallen asleep, but then he spoke, his voice a mixture of gratitude and cceptance, "You're a smart lady, Jack Townsend. No wonder I love you so much." He raiesd his eyes and their gazes met.

"I know you, Jimmy. I just had to take a closer look. People get a bit blind in their grief, I think."

Sighing, Jimmy released Jack from his hold and pushed himself upright in bed. He ran broad hands through his hair and wiped his eyes, chuckling lightly to himself. "Never knew so many tears could come out of a man."

He felt Jack rising behind him. She leaned against him, resting her cheek on his bare back. "Kid shed about as many."

"Well, Kid was always better at showin' his feelin's," Jimmy admitted. He caught her hand in his and placed a kiss on her open palm. "I love you, Jack Townsend."

Her lips pressed to his shoulderblade. "I love you, Jimmy Hickok."

"Speakin' of which..." He turned and sat facing her. "When are you gonna let me make a decent woman out of you? It strikes me that us layin' here together right now ain't exactly proper, me bein' the masculine threat that I am."

He spoke cheekily, as if his light-heartedness had been freed by his tears. It was clear he meant every word he said, but his eyes were red and puffy from crying, the tip of his nose bright pink, and he sniffled through his words; Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy, I couldn't stop myself! You were trying to be so dashing and dangerous, but you just look so *adorable*!"

"Well, that's a fine way to treat a man proposin' to you." He sniffled again.

Jack grinned and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Jimmy, you know the answer is yes."

"That's pretty much what I thought," he said smugly. They smiled at each other, smiles full of love. "I know I've said it before, Jack, but I'll say it again: you beat all for turnin' a man on his head. One second I'm cryin' till I think my heart's gonna break and the next I'm so happy I..." Caught up in the glow shining from her dark blue eyes, Jimmy stopped, mesmerized.

"You're so happy you what?" prompted Jack.

"I'm so happy I..." The low lamplight caught Jack's dark hair in such a way that Jimmy stopped again, breathless.

"The next minute," she supplied for him, "you're so happy you've forgotten what you were going to say."

Jimmy threw his head back and laughed. He grabbed her, pulling her close and tossed them both back against the pillows. "Mrs Jimmy Hickok," he said reflectively. "Mrs James Hickok. Mrs Jill Hickok. Mrs Jack Hickok." He was full of pride at the thought. "Let's see...Mrs Jack Hickok requests the
pleasure of your company at her afternoon social. Hmm...no. No good. You're goin' to have to go back to Jill. Jill Hickok sounds better than Jack Hickok."

Jack slapped him playfully. "I'll stay 'Jack', thank you very much! Trust a man to have things to suit himself!"

"Well, you suit me just fine, so I reckon if you want to stay 'Jack' it's all right with me."

"Oh, I'm *so* pleased that it's all right with you."

"Don't you take that sarcastic tone with me, Mrs Hickok. I expect my woman to keep quiet. Speak when you're spoken to and stay out of my way. Remember, I'm the man of the house."

Jack was giggling. It didn't help that he was making faces at her, pretending to puff his chest out manfully as he spoke. "Oh, yes, of course, darling," she agreed, batting her eyelashes, "I won't worry my pretty little head about such things. I'll just fix dinner and wash clothes and have babies --" She broke off, her smile fading. Their eyes met again. "Or maybe I'll just watch Lou's babies," she finished softly.

In the weeks following Maddy's death Lou's pregnancy had, to an extent, been largely forgotten by the family, and even by Lou herself. But the time came when it could no longer be ignored, and as Lou's belly grew to accomodate the new life within her, the excitement she and the Kid felt couldn't be contained. They were delighted with the prospect of a fourth addition to their family, and as sensitive as they were to Jack's pain, their excitement spilled over. They wandered around smiling, discussing baby names, making baby clothes and furniture. Their delight was contagious, and Jack was always glad in the happiness of her friends, but it was difficult to watch them and not think of Maddy, and of the lost little boy she and Jimmy had made.

She did her best to keep the pain from her eyes, knowing Kid and Lou would see it and feel responsible. She hated to think she would rob them of any of their joy; she loved them so much and they deserved every moment of their happiness. But oh, her arms ached for Maddy. Her heart longed for her little girl.

ometimes she thought she would shrivel up inside if she didn't get her little girl back. It was only with Jimmy that she came back to herself and felt brave enough to face the future. "Jack, I know it ain't so easy to get over this, but...maybe we'll have us a baby of our own again soon, and maybe...well, I don't want anyone to take Maddy's place, but maybe...maybe another baby would help us. Don't you think?"

Jack was quiet. Jimmy knew he had said the wrong thing. He could have kicked himself. "That was cruel of me, sweetheart, I'm sorry."

"No. No, don't be sorry, Jimmy. I've been thinking the same thing, actually. And I wanted more children *before* Maddy died, so it would seem wrong somehow not to want them now because she's gone. She always asked me for a little sister."

"Well," Jimmy smiled, "maybe we could oblige her some day."

"That would be lovely, Jimmy." She squeezed him tightly.

"You're amazin', Jack," he reflected.

"How so?"

"A lot of women...well, losin' two children would kill somethin' in a lot of women. But it don't seem like it has in you. I've seen women lose one child and grow bitter; I've seen women fade away so's you'd think they'd just died right along with their children. But in you...you haven't gotten bitter. And you faded away for a while, but I think you're fightin' your way back to us. There's just such strength to you. Not that you don't feel the same, but you're still so strong...still so lovin'. All this - it’s like it’s made you finer somehow, softer. It's just amazin', I think."

Jack raised herself on her elbow and peered down at him. Her face was impossibly peaceful and pretty. "I think that's the loveliest thing you've ever said to me."

He brushed her long hair from his face and looked up into her beautiful dark eyes. "I know you, Jack."

"Jimmy, I can't wait to marry you."

He grinned with pleasure. "How's about a fall weddin'? That would make your folks happy."

In answer Jack nodded and lowered her lips to his, their mouths fitting so perfectly. Jimmy gathered her in his arms and rolled over, pinning her underneath him. The kiss deepened. Jimmy felt alive again, wanting her so badly he ached inside. He stroked her bangs away from her eyes and felt her limbs coil around him. His pulse quickened. He felt her hands on his back, insistent.

"Wait, Jack -- " he protested, breaking the kiss reluctantly.

"What is it?"

"Well, I feel a little funny. I mean, your parents are in the next room."

"Jimmy Hickok, are you developing a conscience?"

"I'm developin' a sense of embarrassment, actually."

She laughed. "Oh, Jimmy..."

"And to tell you the truth, I just...your parents have been good to me, Jack. They gave me their approval, they treat me like a son, they hardly batted an eye when you asked me to sleep in here with you at night."

"But nothing's happened. They know I just wanted you here to -- to be with me."

"I know." He sighed. "This is killin' me, Jack. You know I love you. But I gotta do this right."

"Do you mean you're going to stop sleeping here?"

He grinned crookedly. "No, I reckon that'd about kill me. Maybe I should just, just sleep over there on the floor."

"Well," she said wickedly, "if you think you ought to."

He groaned. "I do."

Jack softened then, sensing his earnestness. "All right, Jimmy. If you feel it's best." She handed him the biggest, fluffiest pillow. Jimmy took it, bestowing a brief kiss to her and leaving. He found what looked to be a comfortable spot on the floor -- relatively speaking -- and lay down, dragging one of Lou's quilts over himself. He watched as Jack reached over and turned the lamp all the way down till they were left in the
darkness of the moonlit night.

"It's late," she said. "We're both going to be useless tomorrow."

“I don’t mind. It’s been a good night, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I do.”

“I love you, Jack.”

“I love you so much, Jimmy.”

“See you in the mornin’.”

“Good night.”

After a moment Jimmy closed his eyes and sank into welcome sleep. And he dreamed of a diamond ring, shiny and brilliant, and of Jack in a white dress, walking down the stairs of Lou and Kid’s to meet him before a preacher and take vows of eternal beauty and reverence. He slept quite soundly that night.

CHAPTER 1 ¤ CHAPTER 2 ¤ CHAPTER 3 ¤ CHAPTER 4 ¤ CHAPTER 5 ¤ CHAPTER 6 ¤
CHAPTER 7 ¤ CHAPTER 8 ¤ CHAPTER 9 ¤ CHAPTER 10 ¤ CHAPTER 11 ¤ CHAPTER 12 ¤ CHAPTER 13 ¤ CHAPTER 14 ¤ CHAPTER 15 ¤ CHAPTER 16

TO BE CONTINUED...