Fairy-born and Human-bred

by Katta © 2001

Standard disclaimer

Websites notes: This story brings up the subject of slashing/hurting yourself. The web mistress do not encourage nor support this behaviour, however, with reference to the author's creative freedom this story is posted.

Part 3

The day before the wedding, Jotas sat down and watched the young couple. Upon taking a look in those of Lena’s bags Mrs. Warren found ungodly, Sandy had decided being a redhead might be fun for the time being, and so she was sitting with her hair wrapped in a towel, waiting for the henna to work. Ike had been more than willing to spend the four hours simply caressing each other, but the presence of the father of the bride sort of put a damper on that.

”You could at the very least pretend to be happy for us,” Sandy told her father.

”I am happy, Aleja,” Jotas replied. ”But I’m worried as well. It seems to me you’re rushing into this, and it will be... well, rough.”

”I know it’s going to be rough,” Sandy replied, and there was ice in her voice. ”I just don’t plan on giving up.”

Ike put a hand on hers, and she sighed. ”I’m sorry, papá, that was low.”

”That’s alright. I just don’t think you understand the implications of Ike being...” He shrugged.

*Mute?* Ike suggested.

”That too,” Jotas replied, grasping the fairly obvious sign correctly. ”But I was thinking more of ’white’.”

”Papá, I hate to tell you this, but you’re white too.”

”But I’m not an Anglo. They look at things differently.”

Ike shook his head to show that Jotas had nothing to worry about. *My best friend is part Indian,* he pointed out, and Sandy translated.

”It’s not the Indian part I’m worried about.”

”Oh for crying out loud,” Sandy huffed, and Ike stared at her. Apparently it was clear to her what her father was talking about, but to Ike he might as well have been speaking Chinese.

”Marosi’s father... Aleja’s grandfather... was a mulatto,” Jotas explained cautiously. ”Light enough to pass for Mexican, which he did, but that doesn’t change facts. Some people would argue that even the child you’re expecting is black.”

”As if that mattered,” Sandy said impatiently. But she couldn’t stop her eyes from becoming rather uncertain as they turned to Ike for confirmation. To some people it would have mattered. Ike automatically reached out and took her hand to show her support, but he was still thinking. At this point he would have married Sandy even if she turned out to be completely black, but the question was if he *could*, legally. He asked as much, and although Sandy’s frown deepened, she translated the question to her father.

The look of surprise Jotas gave him told Ike that he hadn’t expected that kind of insight. Ike cynically accepted that look as one of many things that proved that although his future father in law *wanted* to treat Ike like a normal person, he wasn’t quite capable of it yet.

”I’m not sure what the law says,” Jotas replied slowly. ”We were always very careful not to ask. And besides, we got married in Mexico, where the laws may be different. It’s possible one eighth would make no difference.” He shrugged, and his eyes softened. ”Then again, it’s possible that it might. That’s a risk you’ll have to take, that some day someone may claim you’re not really married at all.”

He rose from his seat and patted Sandy’s cheek softly before he left for the door. ”I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”

Ike wrapped his arms around Sandy, protective of them both, and signed anyway, so that he signed with her body as much as his own, *Thank you.*

Sandy giggled and said something in Spanish that was a little too quick and long for Ike to grasp, and he quite got the feeling that this was her intention.

”Now, where was we?” she asked when her father had left, cuddling closer to Ike. They had to be careful not to disturb her turban, but that just made the adventure bigger. Unfortunately, they were once again interrupted, this time by Jimmy.

*What?* Ike asked, clearly disappointed.

”Uhmm...” Jimmy seemed uncharacteristically awkward. ”It can wait.”

”What?” Sandy repeated, loosening herself slightly from Ike, and Jimmy halted with his hand on the door knob.

”I’ve been meaning to talk to you... about Lena.”

Sandy looked amused. ”You don’t need my blessing to approach her.”

”That’s not what I meant.” Jimmy didn’t find the situation funny at all. ”It’s just that I’ve been talking some to your friends... and then there was something your father said some time ago... I just want to know a few things.”

The amusement immediately disappeared from Sandy’s face. ”I’m not in the habit of gossiping about my friends.”

”I didn’t mean gossip, just... I want to know.”

”So why don’t you ask her?”

”I don’t know... What if it’s something she doesn’t want to talk about? I don’t want to hurt her.”

”Don’t want to hurt *her*?” Sandy calmed down at that remark. ”Well, that’s a first.” She looked up at Ike, who shrugged and headed for the door, holding up five fingers with a questioning glance. She nodded, and as the door closed behind her fiancé she turned back to Jimmy. ”So, what is it then? Have the Gallaghers been talking?”

”Yes... well, it’s partly that.” The Gallagher brothers had been the only ones to arrive from the busy newsteam to participate in the wedding. They were both tall, green-eyed and auburn-haired, but while Brendan was always ready for a laugh and a flirt, Paddy had a tendency towards brooding. And both of them had brought a whole new dimension to what Jimmy thought he knew about the girls.

”So what did they say?”

”Brendan just said that Lena was a lovely woman. But I got the impression...”

”Mmm.” Sandy’s voice warned him not to take it any further.

”And Paddy said...” Jimmy frowned, trying to remember the cold, furious words. ” ’If you roll in the mud for the fun of it, don’t mock the ones that have nowhere else to go.’ ”

Sandy raised an eyebrow and gave a lopsided smile. ”Quite the Irish poet, isn’t he?”

”Is it true? Doesn’t she have anywhere else to go?”

”I don’t know,” Sandy said slowly. ”I don’t think she thinks so... and that’s really all that matters, isn’t it?”

”And what about her mother?” Jimmy asked, remembering the other conversation.

”Her mother is a charming, intelligent woman who loves her daughter and never intended for any of this to happen,” Sandy replied. ”I have a feeling that’s not what you really want to know.”

Jimmy just looked at her, then shrugged. ”Forget it.”

Sandy grimaced. ”Three husbands, an endless row of admirers... a relationship with a married man about twenty years ago.”

Jimmy nodded. ”That’s more or less what I thought.”

”You haven’t even met Meg,” Sandy pointed out. ”And I think you’ll find that when it comes to Lena, the more you know the less you understand.”

”But you love her.”

”That I do.” Sandy waved at him like a queen in dismissal. ”Now get out of here and bring in Ike. I have a wedding to prepare for, and the last thing I need is puffy eyes.”

”Shouldn’t you be trying to catch that?” Jimmy sneaked an arm around the waist of Lena, who was giggling through her glove at the gathering of young girls outside the City Hall.

”I think not,” she replied with a grimace. ”But you’re welcome to try if you want to.”

”It’s a girl thing,” he stated calmly.

”Oh, I doubt anyone would tell the difference.” She leaned back against the wall, highly amused. ”My money’s with Teaspoon’s saloon girl, she looks like she could catch something.”

Jimmy forced down a smile. ”I won’t even try to understand what that implicated, because I’m sure it’s not a compliment to Amanda. But if you want to bet, I’m going with Lou.”

Lena wrinkled her nose, but before she got a chance to answer, Sandy threw her bouquet and Lou jumped up to catch it. A smirk spread over Jimmy’s face.

”So, what do I get?”

”We never actually made a bet,” she said, moving closer, ”but I have a few suggestions.”

Being a man, Jimmy moved closer as well, by reaction only, before his mind kicked in. Although it was very hard for him to decide if he was to treat Lena like a lady or a woman of ill repute, he knew Sandy’s point of view on this and what she would do to him if she found something out. For some reason, that woman had a wicked opinion of men.

All other men than her own groom, that was. At the moment they were giving a whole new dimension to ”you may kiss the bride”.

”Uhm,” said Sandy when Ike for a moment let go, and he immediately shut her up. In another pause, she was able to continue. ”Does the honeymoon *really* start already?”

Ike nodded solemnly and took her mouth into his again. She didn’t stop talking, which caused a quite intriguing muffled noise inside his mouth. A grin spread over his face and he let go, spreading his hands to let her finish.

”Do we have to go to the party?”

People were waiting all around them, ready to go, and although reluctant, Ike had to nod. *I’m afraid so.*

Not that the party proved to be that bad. The restaurant had been given a fair amount of money and thus had forgotten all objections to letting the motley group hire it for the evening. There were about forty people gathered there, and Ike found he knew remarkably many of them, considering that when it came to families, Sandy had two more than him, colleagues included. Some closer than others -- her father hadn’t given her away and grabbed his opportunity at the dinner table, standing up to speak.

”Let me introduce myself to those of you who don’t know me. Which is, admittedly, most of you. My name is Juan Jesús Fernandez, and it is my daughter who is getting married here today.” He stopped, giving a half apologetic, half sardonic smile. ”She and Ike McSwain, a man I had not previously met, but that I have come to believe is a good man. From this day on he’ll be my son in law -- whatever that means.”

Ike smiled. In spite of Jotas’ uncomfortable attitude, he quite liked him. But in truth, he as well found it hard to think of him as family. It wasn’t as with Marosi and the young ones, that had taken him in as a boarder and that he was familiar with. Not even Sandy seemed to be familiar with her father.

Jotas echoed as much. ”Of course, these days I’m not even sure what it means to have a daughter. It’s hard to see a young lady and know this is your little girl... and you missed seeing her grow up.” He frowned a little. ”Now, I understand that Ike spent far too much of his life on his own, but what I don’t know is what experiences he has with marriage. Whether he finds it to be a good thing, or something that usually fails. But I know Sandy didn’t have much reason to look forward to it. A marriage that didn’t work out,” he nodded towards Marosi, and continued turning to the ones he mentioned. ”A life in sin that did. A first love that proved quite unworthy. A brother, eager to love, but with an unusual sense of moral.” A wicked grin played at his lips. ”An illegitimate child living up to the example of previous generations. It seems everywhere around her, there have been people the church would call sinners. Yet, speaking of the church,” he moved his head to admit another viewpoint. ”In her new home town, I know she has a good spiritual leader, who sadly couldn’t be here today. Maybe that helped, even though I doubt a priest is the man to give marital advice. Whatever the reason, my Aleja is determined to break the pattern, and after seeing these two together, I actually believe she will.”

He raised his glass. ”And so, I ask all of you to join me in a toast for these two people, who have proven their courage just by taking this step. To their marriage.”

The guests echoed his words and drank to the young couple, who were beaming at each other. Ike raised an eyebrow. *He’s good.*

”I know,” she mouthed, grinning. Whatever her relationship was with her father, she was obviously proud that he had done well. ”Can we eat now?”

They started away on the marinated chicken and weren’t interrupted until about half an hour later, when Cody stood up.

”One of the most important things for a successful marriage is recognizing each other. *Every* part of each other.” He paused. ”Including the ankles. So, Sandy, if you would put on this blindfold, we’ll have all of the Express Riders standing on these chairs, and you are to determine which one of them is your husband. Riders, please roll up your pant legs.”

Sandy started to laugh, and Ike, who had been completely unprepared for this, did the same. They both rose from their seats. *Think you’ll manage?*

She gave him a wicked grin. ”I think by now I know your ankles.*

Later that night she was playing with said ankles, running her fingers over them in little circles. Ike laughed. *Still upset that you lost?*

She gave him a fake pout. ”I was close though.” Continuing up his leg, she said, ”No, it’s really more about making sure I don’t lose again.”

Since she was sitting by his feet, all he could do was wait while she proceeded even further. He drew a deep breath and sat up to stop her hand. Her smile was wicked. **That*... I know you’re familiar with.*

”Nothing wrong with a girl learning more.”

He sat up higher so he could grab her around the waist to pull her down. She immediately curled up by his side like a child. ”I love you.”

Which was wonderful, and exactly what he wanted to hear, only not like that. He gently pulled her up again and looked intensely at her.

”What?”

He shook his head slowly.

”I do, you know.”

Without actually signing, he made a very explicit gesture. She tilted her head. ”What, you can’t even ask nicely.”

He rolled his eyes. *Please... finish what you started.*

She laughed and lay down. ”Yes, husband.”

Jimmy woke up with a start. It was still dark outside, and he had no idea what time it was, but that wasn’t the most important thing right now.

Something was wrong. His stomach felt like a cannon ball, but that was only natural; after all, he had stuffed down quite an amount of food last night. And yes, there had been the occasional drink as well. Given the occasion, Teaspoon had chosen to overlook. It wasn’t *that*. There was something wrong... about Lena.

But that was just ridiculous. She had been fine last night, they had a great time. Since most of the people around didn’t care for her, she stuck to Jimmy most of the night and they had thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. She had even managed to avoid getting into arguments, talking only to people that could keep her in check. There had been times when Paddy Gallagher had given her a dark glance, but it seemed more like disappointment than actual dislike, and she had laughed it away. Then, far later than appropriate, Jimmy had followed her home, and she had gone inside. That had been it. A lovely night.

There was definitely something wrong. Refusing to ignore the feeling any longer, Jimmy left his bunk and started looking for his trousers. He hoped the others would stay asleep, since he’d have a hard time explaining what he was doing up if they woke up. He couldn’t very well say that he was going to check on his latest fling. Finding his clothes, he quickly put them on and hurried outside to fetch his horse.

It was dark at Mrs. Warren’s house. Obviously, what had he expected? He went closer and was suddenly uncertain what to do. Knocking the door was out of the question, and he strongly disliked the thought of throwing stones on Lena’s window like some schoolboy. Besides, he didn’t even know which window was hers. The horse moved impatiently by his side, and he decided to put it into the stable while he was waiting. If Mrs. Warren saw that as trespassing, so be it.

There was another horse in the stable that looked nervous, and its emotions spread to his own. He tied it up and went closer to see what was startling the animals. A large bundle of something turned out to be Lena, half-sitting towards the stable wall and apparently sleeping. Only her face was fully visible in the moonlight from the small window. He leaned down and stroked some hair from her face, and she moved a little. Her eyes were still open, but unfocused.

”Jimmy?”

”Yeah, it’s me.” He felt easier at mind now that he had found her, but he still couldn’t get past the feeling that something was wrong. She mumbled something and feebly reached up a hand to touch him.

”Glad... here... wouldn’t want... die alone...”

”Die?” And then he finally saw her arm clearly, and the darkness that could only mean one thing. The darkness that, now that he looked, was staining her lap as well. Swearing to himself, he softly lifted her up, terrified at what she had done to herself. A shard of glass fell from her hand, and as he moved towards the exit his foot kicked the remainders of a broken lamp. The only thing he could tie around her wounds was his own shirt, and so he ripped the sleeves to shreds, trying to stop the bleeding before he hauled her up on the horse.

”Why did you do a stupid thing like that?” he complained.

But Lena no longer answered him.

At first they ignored the pounding on the door, but after a while it got so loud Sandy reluctantly rolled out of bed, and Ike, moving faster, went to open it. At the sight of Jimmy in his bloodied, torn shirt, he immediately forgot all nasty thoughts about what to do with people who disturbed your wedding night.

*What happened?* he asked, trying to find out where the wound was, but Jimmy shook his head.

”I’m fine. Lena... I took her to the doctor...”

”What’s wrong with her?” Sandy asked, stepping forward. The night was cold and they were all getting goose bumps.

Jimmy took a deep breath and finally got it out. ”She cut herself.”

Sandy stood absolutely still for a moment, then she nodded and turned around. ”Let me get dressed.”

Both men watched in shock as she calmly went inside to get her apron and shawl. Jimmy raised a hand in confusion and Ike shook his head, not able to answer that. When Sandy returned, Ike tried to comfort her, partly because he needed comforting himself. He hadn’t seen her like this for months, and it scared him just as much as the implications of what Jimmy had told them. Not particularly interested in comfort, Sandy just gave him a half-hearted pat on the arm and frowned when she realized he was still in long johns. ”Aren’t you coming?”

Ike hesitated for a second. Someone had to tell Teaspoon what had happened, and meeting Jimmy’s frightened gaze, he knew who that someone must be. And so he slowly shook his head. *You go with Jimmy. I’ll come later.*

She looked as if she was about to argue, but Jimmy had the sense to put an arm around her shoulders. Although his shirt was stiffening from the blood, she relaxed at the touch and let herself be led to the stable. Throughout the journey she said nothing, but when Jimmy slowed down his horse outside the doctor’s house, she jumped off hers and asked in a low, impassionate voice: ”How bad is it?”

”I don’t know,” Jimmy said, turning towards her. He felt as if he was about to throw up. ”She was alive when I left.”

He proceeded into the house and up the stairs, refusing to continue the thought: *But she may not be now.* Sandy’s thoughts may have gone in the same directions, because she hurried past him and knocked on the door.

Doctor Stewart had one of those faces that always look melancholy, regardless of the situation. At the moment it was rather fitting. He read the unasked question in their eyes and opened the door. ”She’s sleeping at the moment.”

There was an immediate change in Sandy’s posture, like a violin string being loosened. ”She’ll live, then?”

”She did lose a lot of blood, and it is really too early to tell...” Stewart took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose thoughtfully. ”I’m hopeful, I must say. The wounds weren’t as grave as they may have seemed, and the blood had already started to clot by the time she was found.”

Jimmy, who had been half convinced she would die while he was away, found a chair to sink into. Suddenly the doctor’s decision to have him get Sandy didn’t seem as cruel as it originally had.

”Did she cut this way or that?” Sandy asked, slowly drawing a cross on her wrist. Jimmy had no idea what this had to do with anything, but the doctor looked appreciative.

”Across the wrist,” he said. ”There were several cuts, most of them not very deep. It’s possible that what she attempted to do was... I don’t know how to put it... merely to hurt herself.”

Sandy nodded firmly, steel in her dark eyes. ”I’m going to murder that little puta.”

Jimmy stared at her in utter shock. He couldn’t believe what she had just said. This was her best friend on the brink of death, and she was angry?

”She just had to do it on my wedding night, too,” Sandy continued, working up a rage. ”Scaring everyone like that, carving holes in herself -- I should have noticed something!”

”Yeah,” Jimmy said, unable to argue with the emotion. He felt it himself, and he had only known Lena for a very short period of time. ”Yeah.”

Sandy sank back into her chair, muttering chosen curses in Spanish.

Jimmy didn’t know how long he had been waiting. People kept coming and coming and going, and occasionally he ate something, but he didn’t leave unless it was absolutely necessary. Nobody had argued, even to make him work. He wasn’t going to leave until he had been let inside. Now finally Lena had woken up, but Sandy had requested to go inside first, and he couldn’t really deny her that. She was a friend, while he was just a flirt. But he still had Lena’s stiffening blood on his shirt and her pale face imprinted in his mind, and he wasn’t leaving until he got something else to replace that. It was just as important as Sandy’s need to shout her lungs out -- which, as far as he could tell, couldn’t be speeding up the recovery any.

The door opened once again, and he quickly looked up, searching for an affirmative in Sandy’s flushed face. She just shrugged and looked at the doctor, who smiled a little.

”I don’t see why you shouldn’t go in. You can’t possibly upset the patient any more than Mrs. McSwain did.”

”I didn’t upset her,” Sandy said in a short tone, and the doctor’s smile widened.

”No, it seems you didn’t, which is the only reason you were allowed inside as long as you were.” He turned to look at Jimmy. ”She’s still unconscious half of the time, but you may as well wait in there as out here.”

Jimmy stood up so quickly his chair almost fell over. ”Yes, Doctor. Thank you.”

He hurried inside, but halted when he saw how sick she looked, her pale face void of all those smart-aleck expressions that usually filled it. Slowly, he sat down next to her, afraid she would turn out to be dead in spite of what the doctor had said. But he could see that her chest was moving, and when he sat down she opened her eyes, giving him half a smile.

”I wasn’t asleep,” she explained, although her voice was still drowsy. ”I just rested my eyes a little.”

”Uh-huh,” Jimmy replied, not about to argue. He didn’t know whether he was supposed to touch her or not. According to normal sickbed procedure he should take her hand, but Lena wasn’t much of a hand-holding girl. Besides, her arms were still wrapped up in bandages, and he didn’t want to move them in case they hurt. Now he was here, seeing with his own eyes that she was alive, and he had no idea what to do or say next. He couldn’t start yelling like Sandy had, even though it might have been a way of saying a couple of those things he couldn’t seem to get out. He’d seen people about to die before, just never because they wanted to. Of course, according to what the doctor and Sandy had been saying, the wounds weren’t supposed to kill her. It made him feel awkward and stupid. They had sure looked serious enough.

There was really just one way to find out. ”Did you want to die?”

She looked away, staying silent for so long he was about to repeat the question before she answered, ”I didn’t particularly want to live. But I did it...” Her voice faded away.

”You did it...” Jimmy repeated, really needing to hear the answer.

”I did it to see if I was real.”

How on earth was he supposed to respond to that? ”Huh?”

Turning back to face him, she frowned hard in concentration. ”Do you ever feel like you're supposed to know how to run your life, but you have forgotten and people won’t tell you?”

”Not really,” he replied honestly. ”Most of the time people have no trouble telling me how to run my life.”

She laughed at that, which relieved him. Then her eyes began to drift shut, and he stayed by her side, expecting her to fall asleep. Instead, she opened her eyes again, suddenly clear-headed.

”All they tell me is what not to do. I’ve learned that very well...” She laughed again. ”So well that when I just can’t take it anymore, this whole other me takes over, who is all composed of things I mustn’t be. And I don’t mind. Let her! I always thought I was a changeling, did you know that?”

He shook his head, not willing to interrupt. He had a feeling she had wanted to say this for a very long time.

”I wish I was. At least goblins and trolls... they have their place.”

This time she did fall asleep, and he stayed in his chair, refusing to leave. He knew now that she was going to live, but he wasn’t sure what difference that would make.