FAITH
FAITH (after an idea by Nesciri)
Ike reluctantly left as Red Bear knelt down by Buck's
bed. He leaned over his little brother and whispered in his ear, "Little
Buck, I am here. I will watch over you now."
Buck opened his eyes a little and he saw his brother.
"Red Bear, I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Tears ran out Buck's
eyes and he wanted to curl up in his brother's arms. "I'm dying. I saw
Yellow Crane and she took my spirit from me. I felt it leave and now I'm going
to die."
Red Bear caressed Buck's face and wiped the tears
away with his finger. "No, Little Buck. You are not going to die. You are
too strong and pure for that to happen."
"It was when I went to the burial grounds.
The spirits are finally punishing me. I deserve it. I'm sorry." Buck's
voice was small and full of contrition. Red Bear was reminded of a time when
Buck was small and had confessed to him that it was he who had eaten all the
hazelnuts the women had spent all morning gathering. The memory would have made
Red Bear smile if circumstances were different but now he had something to do.
He reached around his neck and pulled off Buck's medicine pouch.
"It is I who should be sorry, little brother.
I tried to guide you and teach you about our religion but instead I made you
fear something you should embrace." Red Bear placed the pouch around Buck's
neck and arranged it so the bag was over Buck's heart. "It's alright now.
I will take care if it."
"Red Bear, take care of yourself." Years
of hurt and anguish came flooding to the surface. He had held so much in for
so long that he couldn't stand it anymore. "Let me die, I don't want to
live if everything I do is always wrong." Buck was sobbing now and Red
Bear quickly undid the ties that were holding his brother to the bed. Red Bear
gathered Buck in his arms and rocked him back and forth. Buck held on to Red
Bear and continued to cry, "Everyone is right. I shouldn't have been born.
I bring trouble to everyone and now I just want to die."
"Why do you speak like that? It is not true.
You made Mother happy. You brought her joy after she was hurt. You gave me a
brother when I had none before." Red Bear stroked Buck's hair as he had
when Buck was a baby and his voice was soothing. "You just don't feel well
right now. I am taking you home."
Buck relaxed and he held onto Red Bear. "Home?"
"Yes, Little Buck. You are not safe here. I
am going to take you home with me to the Kiowa. We will heal you there, both
your body and your spirit. I want you to rest now. I'll be right here when you
wake."
Buck couldn't believe what he was hearing. Red Bear had come to get him and take him back. Relief washed over him and the memories of a frightened little boy whose brother had left him at a strange school partially vanished. Buck was exhausted. He hadn't slept well for five days. He lay down on the bed and curled up on his side. He knew Red Bear was there and wouldn't leave him this time. He felt Red Bear pull the blankets over his body and Buck took a deep breath. Maybe it would be all right now. Red Bear was going to take him home.
